Exam week Epiphany

I've always hated this time of year...well, loved and hated it.

It was the first thought that drifted into my mind that one Friday, spent alone at Starbucks.

I realised, Poetry in one hand, Venti Caramel Latte in the other,

Sinking into that textured, deep green armchair in the low light.

It was the eighth grade; many people left us,

Many I knew for over ten years,

I realised, that people always come and go,

And Eventually, you start to forget about them,

After that, it sort of ruined summer for me,

Well, not really

Whenever I sit back down where I belong,

Whenever I catch a whiff of that special End of the Year Icebreaker,

Images of students come and pass,

And my heart goes a longing.

***

I've always hated this time of year...well, loved and hated it.

My first thought when I hear an old favourite,

I've always associated songs with people,

Times, Places, Mindsets

Memories

Setting off wave upon wave of nostalgia

(Sugar ray)When it's over: Kindergarten in the Philippines, so long ago

(Paramore) Thats what you get: Long road trips on country highway crammed in the back of an SUV

(Coldplay)Violet Hill: Many year ends past, come and gone; good friends, fading into obscurity

***

I've always hated this time of year...well, loved and hated it.

My first thought when I saw Exam warnings

Plastered on my planner

Year three now

After that realisation down at Starbucks

It's gravity and intensity

ever growing

For me, it feels like PTSD,

If I'm not doing something, I start to contemplate,

What have I forgotten this year?

What haven't I forgotten?

What are the dreams?

The Memories?

Even at the best of times, My memory Starts to go,

Days melt into each other,

Months fly by,

Semesters of My life

Are cut from my timeline,

So I can not recall exactly,

A memorable week of service

It breaks my heart,

Mists my mind,

This year especially;

2 exams, three days apart;

When I must study

And push aside my problems,

I remain, and contemplate my mental decay

***

I've always hated this time of year...well, loved and hated it.

Stay to my Code I must, my philosophy

Of Chivalry and Bushido

Clear my mind I must:

1. Service to others Above self- Sacrifices of Christ

2.Discipline of self: pursuit of excellence

3. Intolerance of Failure: Redemption or Dishonour

On the Hour of my exams

Regret and Nostalgia hit,

Darts fired from cannon,

For an Exam week Epiphany

On my knees, deep in thought

The mind wanders, on such a hated, beautiful day